How content do you feel right now? Discover five simple daily habits that can help you feel happier, and might even help you live longer as a result.
According to research people who are happier live longer. So it doesn’t just make our lives right now more pleasant if we are happy, but it can potentially extend our life and give us better health for longer.
Of course, being more happy isn’t as simple as telling ourselves or someone else to ‘cheer up’, or finding artificial ways of boosting our mood in the moment. We can all feel momentary bursts of happiness, for example if we get good news, or win something. But true, lasting contentment comes from making sure your emotional and physical needs are met.
But how do we know what our emotional and physical needs are? And what kind of daily habits can we instil to ensure we meet them? As a qualified psychotherapist, this is something I have been actively examining in my life for many years. And to help you, I will share some of the things I do on a daily basis to help raise my happiness levels.
1) Get enough sleep
Once you hit middle age as a woman, it can feel like getting a full night’s sleep is as elusive as spotting Big Foot. What you may have once taken for granted – that you place your head on the pillow and wake about eight hours later – feels like a significant achievement.
Given how sleep is so important for good health and mood, insomnia and night waking can inflict a heavy toll on us. So what can you do to improve your chances of getting a good night’s sleep?
If you consistently suffer from insomnia and haven’t done so already, speak to your doctor. There may be something medically that can be done to help. Otherwise, the general advice is to practice good sleep hygiene. To find out what this is and read more tips on getting a good night’s sleep, I recommend reading this article.
2) Practice kindness
Ever heard of the term ‘helper’s high’? It describes the positive emotions we feel after being kind to someone else. And not only does it feel good to help someone, but it can also boost our health and help us live longer.
A study published in 2007 found that “kind people experience more happiness and have happier memories”. It concluded that simply by counting acts of kindness for one week, people appeared to become happier and more grateful.
So if you want to feel happier, you can look for opportunities to help others where you can. This can be as simple as letting a car out in traffic, or holding a door open for someone. And at the end of the week, just reflect on how many conscious acts of kindness you engaged in, and how that made you feel.
If you want to go further, you can volunteer for a good cause. We explore why volunteering is so beneficial for our mental and physical health here and share tips on how to find volunteering opportunities.
3) Spend time with people you like
According to a Harvard study, good social relationships are the most consistent predictor of a happy life. And, as we have already learned, happiness is often equated with better health and a longer life. So it’s not surprising to discover that our relationships, and how happy we are in them, has a “powerful influence” on our health.
The study found that close relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives – more so than money or fame. Our social ties protect us from the ups and downs of life, help to delay mental and physical decline, and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, IQ and genes.
All of which is a brilliant excuse to see more of the people you love and like. And not just family and friends, but acquaintances you interact with you in your daily life. These people all make up the rich tapestry of connections that can help bring you daily joy – and hopefully more years of life.
If you feel like you are missing those connections in your life, make a concerted effort to see more of the people you already know (and like… there’s nothing to be gained from spending time with toxic people who make us feel stressed), and look for ways to grow your social circle.
You can read advice on how to build a community of people in your 50s here, and how to make friends in your 50s here.
4) Be active
We know that exercise boosts endorphins, but it has so much to offer beyond just feeling good post-workout. According to the NHS, people who do regular physical activity have a lower risk of a range of disease and conditions, including:
- Coronary heart disease and stroke
- Type 2 diabetes
- Several cancers
- Osteoarthritis
- Dementia
- Depression
As well as triggering the release of feel-good brain chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, and endocannabinoid, exercise often gets you out of your home, and meeting other people too – all of which brings other mood-boosting benefits.
I shared here how pickleball enriches my life. I also practice Iyengar twice a week, once with a group of friends. We spend as much time laughing as we do perfecting our downward dog, which surely must be good for our core?
So how much exercise do you need to do to reap the benefits? The NHS recommends trying to be active every day, and aiming for at least 150 minutes of physical activity over a week, through a variety of activities.
I would caveat this with the recommendation that you enjoy the exercise you do. There’s plenty of different ways to keep active, so no need to do something you hate. For me, I loathe running and the gym, and can’t bear the hassle of changing into a swimming costume. But I enjoy pickleball and yoga, as well as walking and cycling. If you enjoy a form of exercise you are more likely to stick to it, and feel happier doing it… which after all is the point of this article!
5) Focus on what you can control
About 20 years ago I trained to become a psychotherapist, and one piece of learning in particular resonated with me. It’s something I have practiced since, and has really changed how I view and approach life.
This concept was created by author and leadership guru Steven Covey, and it’s a really powerful way to identify the worries you can legitimately focus on, and those you can learn to let go of.
The concept is simple. You just need to understand which of two ‘circles’ your worries fall into, and learn to let go of any worries that fall outside your circle of influence. The circles are:
- Your circle of concern: Things over which you have little or no control, such as national politics, world hunger, terrorism, the weather etc.
- Your circle of influence: Things you can and DO control, such as your health, your children’s diet and problems at work.
The key to happiness and inner peace, is to find a way to let go of things that fall into your circle of concern that are outside your circle of influence. You can’t do anything about these things, so worrying is futile and emotionally draining. By focusing on things you CAN influence, you will feel more empowered and content – and happier.
You can read more about the principle here, as well as a four-step technique to banish over-worrying. And given the benefits from worrying less include less tension, feeling less on edge, more energy, better sleep, more mental space, greater comfort with uncertainty, easier decision making, less irritability, better relationships and more life enjoyment, it’s certainly worth putting into practice!
Happiness isn’t an accident, it’s a daily practice
I hope this article has helped you see that feeling happy isn’t something that just ‘happens’ to people. And while it can certainly help, it’s also not controlled by external luck. Instead, happiness is something that you can work on, and grow more of, simply by practicing habits like those we have shared above every day.
Just think, if you start making small tweaks to your life today, even as simple as meeting a friend for coffee, how much happier might you feel in a month’s time? And how many extra happy years of life might you live as a result?
